o ya kno
I love when all the men who captain Starfleet ships encounter matriarchal civilizations then talk in their logs about patriarchy as something that plagued Earth “hundreds of years ago.”
at some point I am going to have something more than dot points to say about
- the misogyny and narcissism of queer men who complain to you that most men are dickheads and it’s all right for you because there are more radical women out there and you can get laid by an anti-imperialist anarcha-feminist but how is he supposed to find a boyfriend? i.e. “most people like me are comfortable with their lot in life and therefore kind of reactionary but instead of connecting with them and trying to change this, a useful act of feminist solidarity, I’m just going to complain to women about how massively self-congratulatory subcultures that purport to have feminism as a shared value actually do, surprisingly, end up appealing to and centering women, and who cares about women’s experience of misogyny from potential male partners, amirite, let’s talk about the real victims of men’s shitty attitudes: queer guys!” (this is actually a thing I’ve heard from a number of queer guys and is not specific to any one individual, swear to God, if it sounds super familiar that’s because these conversations are all the same)
I’ve observed the dearth of dateable radical men, certainly, but I hope I haven’t gone this far. It’s true I’ve withdrawn from any engagements with communities of gay men; I used to at least hang out at the queer centre at university and visit bars with “bar friends”.
Now my public participation has been reduced to arguing against racism, misogyny, and internalised homophobia on the discussion boards of a vulgar cruising site for men.
It seems a tall order for me to transform these spaces alone. I stopped being able to relate and felt isolated and marginal. I found communities where I have support, where my input is valued, at the expense of meeting dates.
Attempts to cultivate a radical queer group in Winnipeg have repeatedly failed. Obvious solution is obvious: LEAVE